{Alive in Christ}

Exactly one year ago, I attended a Christian conference in Atlanta called Passion. It was an extremely eye-opening experience for me and God showed me a lot in four days that I will never forget. So here I am once again, January, the beginning of the new year of 2012, and I just got home yesterday from this same conference. It was once again life-changing, and I want to tell you all a little bit {but knowing me it will probably turn into a lot} about my experience this year, and what God showed me these past four days in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome with 45,000 other college students.


First, before I start telling you what happened the past four days, let me tell you what occured the days preceeding Passion. Lately, I have been asking God a lot to show me what love truly is. Last year at Passion I really felt the complete love of Christ in my heart, but there's a difference between feeling something and knowing it. I wanted to know it. I had also been asking God to do some major work within my heart, I didn't really know what specifically that would intell, but I knew something needed to be done. I feel as though this summer and first semester at school I had lost some of the passion that I had previously in my life. I felt just a little dry, and in need of some major refreshment from Christ in my heart and soul and life.


1. I realized how weak my worship has been. God is powerful, sovereign, almighty, and His strength, compassion, forgiveness and love NEVER run out, and yet I barely give Him the time of day when it comes to worshiping Him for all His goodness and faithfulness and love. Most importantly, He brought me back to life when I was dead in my sin. The most reasonable response to that would be to give Him my life that He raised, and yet I've been doing a lazy job of trying to do what's expected of me as a Christian, not always with the heart that should be its motivation. As I stood there during worship the first night of Passion, I truly began to worship Him with all of my heart, letting go of everything else that existed but Him. It was then that He showed me, "This is what you're missing as My follower, as My daughter. You don't give me your all everyday." That began a grueling, necessary, conviction process for the week.


2. There's a line in the song "How He Loves" that says, "Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, and my heart beats violently inside of my chest." I've always wanted to be so in love with Jesus that my heartbeat speeds up and I get butterflies when I spend time with Him. It happened. I finally felt what it feels like to be really in love with Jesus. I can't remember what song I was singing, who was speaking, or what day it was, but I fell in love with Jesus this week, and it's never going to fade away. God showed me that love isn't found in a marriage or in a feeling inside of you. Those are simply ways that God expresses His love for us and gives us a picture through those things of what His love looks like. Love is innocence and perfection dying on a cross for my filth. Love is forgetting that the world thinks He's insane in order that He may raise me back to life while I was completely dead in my sin. Love is that even when I fail, and do things that break His heart, He chooses to love me anyway. Love isn't a picture of a heart drawn by a little kid, or a piece on candy someone gives you on February 14th. Love is Christ crucified for the sins of the world and for the glory of God.


3. Actions speak louder than words. I've been using that phrase as an excuse to keep quiet about God my entire life. Using that as an excuse to simply listen to others when the topic of God came up in conversation, even though I had a ton floating around in my mind I could have said. I've used it as an excuse that my "living out the gospel" instead of speaking it would work just as fine to fulfill the Great Commission. God gave me a holy slap in the face this week. The Great Commission is not about going and hoping that your good deeds will shine brightly enough that people will know exactly why you act that way without any words being involved. The Great Commission is about going and making disciples. Romans 10:14 says,

 "...how are the to believe in whom they have not heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"

 The answer is that they can't. God calls us as Christians to PREACH the gospel, not only to live it. The preaching and the living have to go together, and it won't be effective with only one or the other. 


4. As Lecrae was rapping in worship on Wednesday night, he mentioned Romans 1:16,

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel..."

 With a broken heart I realized that every time

     "God doesn't call us as Christians to live comfortably, but to step out in faith everyday to do things for HIS KINGDOM and for HIS GOSPEL that are OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE. Our lives should be used for HIS GLORY, not our comfort."

I made a list of New Year's resolutions, they're all good and I plan on working on them. But now I have a life resolution: that I will fearlessly proclaim the gospel through my life in EVERYTHING I SAY and DO. That the only life people see when they look at me is Jesus, and that my life will bring glory to the name of Jesus. Elisabeth Elliot summed it up best in this quote: "I have one desire now- to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it."

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for You; Your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts."

{Isaiah 26:8}

268generation.com

{Prayer}

From today, I have exactly 22 days until I go back to Mississippi to begin my second semester of college. I have been hoping, thinking and praying that this break will be one of renewal and restoration. I am beyond thankful that I finished my first semester without too many difficulties, with good grades and a good GPA, and many new relationships built, but to be completely honest, I am sufficiently drained. I need God to renew my energy physically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually.

Tonight, after a long phone conversation with a special man, I went outside on my deck. As I sat there beneath a blanket of twinkling stars in the chilly December air, green tea in hand, my thinking turned into praying. I prayed and thought about many things, from school, to people, to myself and my relationship with the Lord. As my mind landed on the last subject, I really began to evaluate myself.

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? Unless indeed you fail to meet the test!"
{2 Corinthians 13:5}

Through this "examination," I began to see how I spent time with God this semester. When I think of spending time with God, I tend to thing of reading the Bible, going to church, and praying. Reading the Bible: check. I love reading my Bible. There is rarely a day that I go without reading at least something in God's Word. I love to read my favorite verses that I have underlined in my Bible, and I love to send verses to friends everyday as a little piece of encouragement to remind them that they're not alone. Going to church: check. I have found an awesome church to attend in Madison, MS called North Ridge. There are lots of college students and young families that I get the joy of worshiping with every Sunday, and I look forward to it every weekend. Prayer: Hmmm...

Prayer is an area I have been struggling with for quite some time now. When it comes to prayer, I am seriously A.D.D. A lot of times this semester, I will try praying before I go to sleep at night. Whenever I try that, I always wake up the next morning realizing I fell asleep mid-prayer. Sometimes I try praying as I'm walking to class. One thing wrong with that is that it takes about 3 minutes to walk anywhere on campus, so that ends up being a pretty short prayer. Either that, or I end up getting distracted or running into a friend and talking to them.

The past year or so I have come to an awareness of my "A.D.D. prayer life". I realize that it is something that needs to change, but every time I try to change it, it seems that I fail. I came to an understanding tonight though, that this does not just need to change, it is going to change. During this break, and at the Passion conference in a couple weeks, and throughout 2012, I am making a commitment to myself and to God to "pray without ceasing".

"Pray without ceasing."
{1 Thessalonians 5:17}

"Continue steadfastly in prayer..."
{Colossians 4:2}

"I desire then that in every place the men should pray..."
{1 Timothy 2:8}

God does not desire half-hearted, lukewarm people who have no desire to talk to Him, simply doing the bare minimum in order to go to heaven. He desires humble children who passionately seek His face through prayer and reading His Word.



Found Seeking

This is from an email my mom sent me a few months ago. I first read this poem after an amazing girl at Camp Marannook gave me a copy of it this summer. Throughout the summer I had read this almost everyday...it is such an encouragement! I hadn't read it in a while until last night it fell out of my bible, so I read it once again and it was exactly what I needed to hear from the Lord last night. I'm bolding my favorite parts.
~taye


Found Seeking Poem



Everyone longs to give himself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian Says:

“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, until you give yourself totally to Me, having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction found. Then and only then will you be capable of the human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be wholly united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing- one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST!

Choose my way. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest and keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait, that’s all. Don’t be anxious. Don’t look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and up to Me or you will miss what I want to show you. You see, until you are ready (and I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and this perfect love.

My Dear One, I want you to have the most wonderful love for one another. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you completely and eternally. I am the Almighty God. Believe Me, trust Me, and be satisfied. “