{Alive in Christ}

Exactly one year ago, I attended a Christian conference in Atlanta called Passion. It was an extremely eye-opening experience for me and God showed me a lot in four days that I will never forget. So here I am once again, January, the beginning of the new year of 2012, and I just got home yesterday from this same conference. It was once again life-changing, and I want to tell you all a little bit {but knowing me it will probably turn into a lot} about my experience this year, and what God showed me these past four days in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome with 45,000 other college students.


First, before I start telling you what happened the past four days, let me tell you what occured the days preceeding Passion. Lately, I have been asking God a lot to show me what love truly is. Last year at Passion I really felt the complete love of Christ in my heart, but there's a difference between feeling something and knowing it. I wanted to know it. I had also been asking God to do some major work within my heart, I didn't really know what specifically that would intell, but I knew something needed to be done. I feel as though this summer and first semester at school I had lost some of the passion that I had previously in my life. I felt just a little dry, and in need of some major refreshment from Christ in my heart and soul and life.


1. I realized how weak my worship has been. God is powerful, sovereign, almighty, and His strength, compassion, forgiveness and love NEVER run out, and yet I barely give Him the time of day when it comes to worshiping Him for all His goodness and faithfulness and love. Most importantly, He brought me back to life when I was dead in my sin. The most reasonable response to that would be to give Him my life that He raised, and yet I've been doing a lazy job of trying to do what's expected of me as a Christian, not always with the heart that should be its motivation. As I stood there during worship the first night of Passion, I truly began to worship Him with all of my heart, letting go of everything else that existed but Him. It was then that He showed me, "This is what you're missing as My follower, as My daughter. You don't give me your all everyday." That began a grueling, necessary, conviction process for the week.


2. There's a line in the song "How He Loves" that says, "Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, and my heart beats violently inside of my chest." I've always wanted to be so in love with Jesus that my heartbeat speeds up and I get butterflies when I spend time with Him. It happened. I finally felt what it feels like to be really in love with Jesus. I can't remember what song I was singing, who was speaking, or what day it was, but I fell in love with Jesus this week, and it's never going to fade away. God showed me that love isn't found in a marriage or in a feeling inside of you. Those are simply ways that God expresses His love for us and gives us a picture through those things of what His love looks like. Love is innocence and perfection dying on a cross for my filth. Love is forgetting that the world thinks He's insane in order that He may raise me back to life while I was completely dead in my sin. Love is that even when I fail, and do things that break His heart, He chooses to love me anyway. Love isn't a picture of a heart drawn by a little kid, or a piece on candy someone gives you on February 14th. Love is Christ crucified for the sins of the world and for the glory of God.


3. Actions speak louder than words. I've been using that phrase as an excuse to keep quiet about God my entire life. Using that as an excuse to simply listen to others when the topic of God came up in conversation, even though I had a ton floating around in my mind I could have said. I've used it as an excuse that my "living out the gospel" instead of speaking it would work just as fine to fulfill the Great Commission. God gave me a holy slap in the face this week. The Great Commission is not about going and hoping that your good deeds will shine brightly enough that people will know exactly why you act that way without any words being involved. The Great Commission is about going and making disciples. Romans 10:14 says,

 "...how are the to believe in whom they have not heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"

 The answer is that they can't. God calls us as Christians to PREACH the gospel, not only to live it. The preaching and the living have to go together, and it won't be effective with only one or the other. 


4. As Lecrae was rapping in worship on Wednesday night, he mentioned Romans 1:16,

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel..."

 With a broken heart I realized that every time

     "God doesn't call us as Christians to live comfortably, but to step out in faith everyday to do things for HIS KINGDOM and for HIS GOSPEL that are OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE. Our lives should be used for HIS GLORY, not our comfort."

I made a list of New Year's resolutions, they're all good and I plan on working on them. But now I have a life resolution: that I will fearlessly proclaim the gospel through my life in EVERYTHING I SAY and DO. That the only life people see when they look at me is Jesus, and that my life will bring glory to the name of Jesus. Elisabeth Elliot summed it up best in this quote: "I have one desire now- to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it."

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for You; Your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts."

{Isaiah 26:8}

268generation.com

{Love Came Down At Christmastime}

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope that your day has been filled with blessings, fellowship, good food, fun, and most of all, Christ! These are some things I've been thinking about a lot this week...hope you enjoy thinking about it as well!

What is love? Love is not the fickleness that the world is constantly telling us. It’s not a word that should be meagerly thrown around like it has no meaning. Love is not sex, making out, hooking up, or holding hands. Love is not simply being married to someone. Love is not that warm, fuzzy, butterfly feeling you get when you’re with a certain person. Love is not living with someone. Love is not something that happens when your eyes meet. Love is not a struggle; it’s what holds you together when struggles arise. Love is not selfish, conceited, or hurtful.  Love is not insistent upon winning. Love does not focus merely on the present. Love is not something that makes you sad. If love is not any of these things, then what is it?

Love, I’m learning, is not about the temporary, but the eternal. It doesn’t focus solely on the present, but thinks often on the future. Love is realizing that another person’s life is more significant than your own—that you would willingly give your own life in order for that other person to live, if need be. Love is when you desire to forfeit your own personal happiness if, in doing so you could bring an ounce of joy to another person. Love is, when during a fight with someone, you already start thinking of your apology. Love is when you see yourself with one person when you imagine every night for the rest of your life.  Love is selfless. Love is encouraging. Love makes you smile so big that nothing could wipe that smile off your face. Love is perfectly content to walk hand-in-hand with one person for the rest of your life. Love is boundless. Love is freeing. Love gives you a sense of security and vulnerability all at once. Love is faithful, and love is hopeful. Love is pointing another person’s focus in the right direction at all times, even if that direction isn’t what will make you happy. Love can handle anything with some work, and love endures all things.

There are millions of examples of “love” stories all over the world. I know this from experience of “loving” (no pun intended) them throughout my childhood, and even now. There are Disney Princesses who always end of getting swept out of a sticky situation at the last minute by Prince Charming.  There are tons of romantic comedies that come out in movie theaters every month where an unsuspecting couple falls in “love” only to allow some minor misunderstanding to separate them for a time, only to fall back in “love”. There are fairytales galore where a young maiden finds herself in some sort of distress and a knight in shining armor (why is his armor always so shiny anyway?) rides in on a white horse to save her. Then there are numerous copies of sketchy romance novels with Fabio on the covers thrown about on bookstore shelves.  

But the truest, most pure and perfect example of love is told in the true story of one man, born as a miracle one starry night many years ago. Though the tale is so familiar to me, and so many others I know, it never gets old because it’s the reason I am alive today, and the reason I have freedom and forgiveness. Jesus (which means “God with us”) was born of a young (probably around 12 or 13 years-old) girl named Mary. Now Mary, being so young, was still a virgin. How did she have a child then, you ask? The power of the Holy Spirit came upon her and conceived the baby within her (I wonder if Mary felt that?). Nine months later, Mary and her fiancé Joseph start a journey to a small town called Bethlehem to register with the Census that was taking place all over the land. While they were there, it came time for Mary to give birth to her son, except there was one problem: there was no room left for them to stay anywhere. Finally, the found shelter in the stable (kind of like a screened-in porch without the screen used for holding animals) off of someone’s house. The miracle baby was born, but this wasn’t just an ordinary baby. Apart from his being conceived by the Holy Spirit, this baby had a huge future planned for Him. He was to be a King and a Redeemer for all the people of the world. Shepherds and Wise Men from far away came to see this baby to bring Him gifts and worship Him, for they knew what He was to become.

Thirty years later, this miracle child became a man and began His ministry. He had the power to heal people and to perform miracles. He turned water into wine, and fed thousands with only a little food. He made the blind see, the mute speak, the deaf hear, and the sick healthy. But the religious group, called the Pharisees, didn’t like Him attracted so much attention away from them, so they began a plot to kill the man. The even got one of Jesus’ followers to get in with the plot and help them get to Him. So the Pharisees meet Him in a garden one night during a festival called the Passover, and they arrest Him. Then the people judge to have Him crucified a typical punishment for major criminals. So He was whipped and beaten, then hung on a cross to die. He was placed next to two thieves, who joined the crowds in mocking Him. After His death, many more miracles occur, but the biggest miracle of all came exactly three days after He died. You remember Mary, His mother, from the beginning of this story? Well her and her friend Mary (yes, there are two Mary’s, try not to be confused) go to the tomb where He was laid, only to find that the giant stone which had been closing the grave, had been rolled back. Confused, the other Mary leaves, while Jesus’ mother Mary begins to cry in the garden outside the tomb. A “gardener” approaches her only to be Jesus Himself. Jesus had been raised to life!

How is true love exemplified in this story? Well, although Jesus was a completely innocent man (for he had done nothing but simply irritate the Pharisees, which is not a crime), he died a horrific death upon a cross, but He didn’t die in vain. Jesus died that death upon the cross for two reasons—one: to glorify God through His resurrection three days later, which He couldn’t do without having first died. And two: to bring life to every sinner (which is every human being) who will believe in His death and resurrection as well as commit their life to proclaiming the story and following the Father God. He did this out of self-sacrificial love for the entire world. There was nothing in it for Him; in fact, He had to endure many horrible things in order that we could have life and joy eternally. Jesus love was selfless, eternally focused, bringing happiness not to Him, but to the people whom He loved. His love endures all things, because He died once for all, and never has to die again. He loved us—you and me that much, but the question is, do we love Him back?

That Girl

I don't know if it's just the fact that it's summer and I haven't had much to do this week, or if it's just getting ready for college, but lately I have been doing a lot of "reflecting" on my life so to speak, which leads to a lot of random blog posts from me. But anyway, here's something I've been thinking about today and pretty much all week I guess.
-taye

The Only Thing That's Good In Me Is JESUS

I am an encourager; that is one of my spiritual gifts. There is nothing like that joy I get from sending a Bible verse to a friend who needs it, or asking people how I can be praying for them. Ever since the end of my freshman year in high school, I decided that I was going to stop trying to fit in with the world and start living for Christ.

At our senior dinner at dance this year, the company girls all signed a picture frame for each of the seniors, as well as wrote a note to each of us, simply wishing us well as we move on to the college phase of our lives, and just what we have meant to them as dancers and as people in the years we have danced together. I nearly teared up when reading all of mine, and a couple of days ago, I went back and was reading some of the things people wrote to me. A couple of things that popped up included "Christians girl", "great role model" and "wonderful example". Now those are great things to be, and I feel honored that those girls said those things about me, but looking at myself from my point of view, I am not so sure that I would use those terms quite so passionately to describe myself.

I have had the privilege over this past year to be sort of a mentor to a 7th grade girl who dances at my studio, as well as goes to my church. At the end of the school year she wrote me a note. The note made me cry, because as well as me being an encouragement to her, she has been such an encouragement to me as well. But, there was one line in the note that said "every morning I wake up and ask myself how I can be more like you." More like ME?! I wanted to look her in the eyes and ask her if she was looking at the same girl that I was.

I am not a bad person compared to the world's standards. But being a Christian is not about not being a bad person. God calls us to be holy and perfect, just as He is holy and perfect. I am so F A R from perfect it is not even funny. To be quite honest, I struggle so much every single day just to keep at the front of my mind that I am supposed to be living for Christ and not giving in to my selfishness. As much as I hate to admit, most of the time I give in to my selfishness. I struggle every single day to fully know with all of my being that God is the only thing I need. Everything else comes second. Yet, I still struggle and fight with the thoughts that maybe if I had the perfect ballerina body or maybe if I was dating that guy I have liked for months now that just maybe then I could be happier. But I have to keep telling myself "no". One thing I really hate to admit is that so many times when I have asked friends every week how I can pray for them, I never get around to actually praying for them. Sometimes I have even lied and said I have been praying for them when I haven't.

All these things are just a few things I struggle and fight with every single day, and things I fail at every single day, and yet there are SO MANY MORE things just like them that I struggle with as well. It seems that no matter how many times I ask God's forgiveness and no matter how many times I tell Him that it will be different, I simply cannot be holy due to my sinful nature.

The thing that gives me hope though, is the knowledge that my God is making me new everyday, and that He does still forgive me after all my failures and mistakes. That He still loves me unconditionally, in spite of the fact that I cannot be perfect, though I will continue to try because He calls me to.

"You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

{Matthew 5:48}