Let's fall in love

So, it's been a while since I've written. I have been so ridiculously busy it's insane. But I really am enjoying senior year so far. Of course changing my mind a lot. So far, I've applied to Belhaven, Auburn, and South Carolina. I'm trying to decide on at least one or two other places to apply and right now I'm considering TCU, UNCSA, and maybe possibly even Julliard, though it's all up in the air at this point. Anyway, Right now I'm trying to focus on falling in love with God, which is harder than it appears, but here's just some stuff I've been thinking about lately.
-taye


How do you fall in love?

Beginning this summer, during my time at Camp Marannook, I decided that I wanted to fall in love with God, and that I wanted to work on that over my senior year of high school. However, it has been a significant struggle for me. When I think about everything that Christ has done for me and how deep His love is for me, it seems foolish that I cannot find it in myself to fall madly in love with Him.

A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed attempting to pray and as my mind wandered off somewhere I found myself thinking of love. These thoughts reminded me of my "goal" of falling in love with God. I got to wondering why I struggling so much with it, when I began to think: "How do you fall in love?" I realized that I was trying to force myself into falling in love with God without spending a lot of time talking to Him or in His Word. No wonder it was not working!

When two people fall in love, they do so while spending a lot of time together. They talk, they write each other notes, they dive in and dig in to figure out everything there is to know about the other person. I was not doing any of these things with God. I realized that relationships on earth are used to help us understand how to have a relationship with God. It is kind of like babysitting provides you with examples and experience on how to take care of your own child. You learn. Relationships on earth show us how to have a relationship with God and vice versa.

"The Lord is my strength..."

So, I am now officially a senior...I can't believe it! All I can say is that I feel extremely inadequate to be applying to colleges and finishing high school; I feel so little, so small. My best friend cracked me up yesterday when she said "You know how senior year is supposed to be awesome? Well it's kind of a mourning time for me." haha, but really it's true, it's so scary! But anyway, here is what I've been learning from God recently.
-taye


"I will trust and not be afraid"

As I begin my senior year of high school, I have had to begin the long process of applying to colleges. This process has been somewhat intimidating for me as well as terrifying. The issue has been the fact that I know one-hundred percent that God is calling me to do something with dance, whatever that may be, therefore the logical thing to do would be to major in dance. The thing is that part of me wants to try and make it in a company right out of high school, but God is not calling me to that. I feel like He has a lot to teach me through going to college, so that is what I am going to do. I believe I have finally narrowed it down to applying to four schools: Belhaven University in Jackson, Mississippi, University of South Carolina in Columbia, South Carolina, University of North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and lastly Birmingham Southern College in Birmingham, Alabama. Before I really decided on these four schools, though, I had some serious trouble putting all of my trust in the Lord and simply relying on Him that He would guide me where I need to go.
Last night I was looking for a verse to send in my nightly text message I send to some friends and I stumbled upon Isaiah 12:2 which says

"Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation."

I just love when God gives you a verse that is exactly what you need to hear.

Happy Friday!

ABT Austin

So I got back last weekend from a month in Austin, Texas where I was at ABT’s summer intensive. It was an incredible month, for sure…I learned so much, but not only about dance. Here are some things I learned, though I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot.
-taye


Things I learned, oh so much!

1. No matter how good you think you are at something, there is always a TON of room for improvement. That’s one thing I love about ballet and dance in general, you always have something else to work toward. Over the past month I danced in a class full of people that were really great dancers and I got to take class from some of the best teachers I’ve ever taken from. Doing this taught me that I still have a lot to work on in dance and that hard work is good for me. In dance, I have bad days where I feel like crap and wonder why I continue to do this, and then I’ll have good days where I realize why I’ve been dancing for the past 14 years, and why I love it so much, and what I can do with it in the future. I’m so thankful for all of the teachers that helped me grow as a dancer and a person over the past month.

2. I learned that when you live with a bunch of girls for a month, there is drama. This is one reason I think I was meant to be a guy. But God blessed me with friends that stayed out of drama and I am so glad I had the opportunity to meet those girls and get to know them, even though we’re all from different parts of the country. I learned and grew so much from spending so much time with them, and I’ve come to love them very much and I know we’ll all be friends for a long time. Girls, you know who you are.

3. Even though I was there to dance, throughout my month in Austin I managed to grow spiritually as well. I’ll admit that I didn’t always make time to read the bible, and some nights I fell asleep before I had a chance to talk to God, but I realized a few things while I was there…one, that God is present even when you aren’t thinking about him. Two, that dependency on Christ is something I lack very much. At the beginning of the summer I went to Camp Marannook and so many people were saying how they wanted to be more dependant on God, me being the stubborn teenager that I am thought to myself that I didn’t need to work on that…haha God showed me.

4. I’m realizing that with dance, there are a lot of options for my future and that I’ve just got to have faith that where I’m supposed to be is where I’ll end up this time next year.

He has given us everything we need for life and godliness...

So I just got back from Marannook and learned so so much through fellowship, worship, church, and bible study. I learned a TON, but I guess I can sum it up into three points:

Point numero uno: That fellowship is absolutely necessary. God created us for fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ and He uses that fellowship to strengthen, encourage, and grow us into the people He created us to become. I had an incredible time getting to see old friends as well as making so many new ones, and am so excited about my new friendships and getting to look forward to what God is going to do with each of them.

Point Two: Christ's love for me is unfathomable. For Bible Study, we had to memorize a verse a week and for the first week I memorized Romans 8:38-39 which says: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, neither anything else in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That is one of my favorite verses because it reminds me that even when I get busy, or stressed, or forget about the gospel that CHRIST LOVES ME regardless of anything I ever do, no matter how much I sin, or forget Him, or stray from Him that He loves me and will ALWAYS open His arms when I come running back.

Point Three: Jesus satisfies all my longings. There's a song we sang in Bible Study one night called "Satisfied" and the chorus goes like this: "Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved. Jesus satisfies all my longings, by His blood I now am saved." My verse that I had memorized for this past week was Philippians 4:11-13: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." I would love to be able to say truthfully that I am content in ANY and EVERY situation. However, I am not one to be completely content, there's always that one other thing that I want, that one other person in my life to make me feel complete, that one other thing that I can do perfectly, that one other something, but I was reminded over the past four weeks that God + something NEVER works. It can only be God and God alone. There is nothing else to add, nothing that could make Christ in my life more complete. God + something is like downgrading the Lord of the universe.

I'm still working on a lot of things, but I just really wanted to share with you all what I have learned and am still continuing to learn. I also have a new favorite song: How deep the Father's love for us. It's an incredible reminder of the gospel and of Christ's incredible and deep love.




How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

ζωή

In case you're wondering, the title is Greek for "Life". I'm supposed to be working on a research paper right now, but I'm getting writer's block. So here are some life updates (hence the title).
-taye


ζωή


School: I have only three more weeks of being a junior in high school. The past three years seem like they have completely flown past. Still, the only college I have visited is the University of South Carolina. Hopefully, though, there will be visits to Belhaven University, and perhaps Texas Christian University and/or University of Texas in the near future as well. I plan to take the SAT once again next Saturday, hoping to bring my math score up a lot.

Dance: My studio is in "financial difficulty" due to the economy right now, so our recital this year will be in the tiny, in-studio theater that only holds about 100 people rather than the large performing arts building that holds over 700 that we're usually in. But nevertheless, we are preparing for the shows which are in a little over a week. This year I am performing six pieces, plus the class I teach has a piece. My pieces are:

Serenade- group pointe
Carmen- duet on pointe
Uninvited- group contemporary
Ruby Blue- group jazz
Amazing Grace- group contemporary
Single Ladies- group tap

Life: My seventeenth birthday is next Wednesday, the 28Th. I cannot believe that I will be seventeen! I feel like I am getting so old, I think I should just be turning 13. I feel very inadequate to be preparing for college and to be on my own soon!

Seventeen

Hello. I'm exhausted from dancing today, but I've got a lot on my mind and want to let some of it out so I can get some sleep. So here we go.
-taye


Seventeen

As I rapidly approach the age of seventeen, I am beginning to realize how opposite life is from the movies. I may be the only one who thinks this way; however it seems to me that nearly everyone falls in love at seventeen. Though the person they fall in love with may not be the one that they will live happily ever after with, it seems like the subject of love opens up when one turns the peculiar age of seventeen.

I still have ten days to go until that day, though I am eagerly looking forward to it. I adore birthdays; they are just so much fun! Unlike Christmas or Valentine’s Day or all other holidays, a birthday is specifically about you. Plus, my incredible friends always make it so special for me; therefore, this year does not look like it will be any different. However, I still want to experience that one birthday where that one special person make you feel important.

Perhaps seventeen will be like the movies for me, though I seriously doubt it, optimism can never be a bad thing, can it? I supposed we will see with time.

Insanity

Hey there on this lovely Tuesday morning! I'm in a great mood today so far, but that could be because I started my day with coffee and Regis & Kelly. Anyway, for literature today, I had to write a paper about insanity to go along with the chapter on Edgar Allen Poe. It's not very good but I thought I'd share it despite that fact.
-taye


Sanity or Insanity? That is the question.

Sanity is defined as the state of being sane, or having a soundness of mind, but what is sanity really? And by whose standards is “being sane” defined?
Some might define sanity as thinking in a normal state, but then if one defines it as that, by whose standards is normality defined? The list could continue endlessly.

One might believe that sanity would be a simple attribute to posses, however in my opinion it is madness or insanity that is much easier to attain and hold onto. Madness is defined as the quality of being insane, or senseless folly. However, folly is not a word that comes to mind when I think of madness. Folly is a fault or foolishness, but I think to have to the courage to be mad is genius. Marilyn Monroe once said “Madness is genius…” and though she is not necessarily one I would want to model my life after, I believe that she was correct with this statement.
Take the book or the movies of Alice in Wonderland for example. The Mad Hatter is brilliant! Indeed he is also extremely mad and out of his head, yet he has always been my favorite character for that very reason. He thinks in a completely unconventional way that most shy away from, and though others view him as insane, brilliance is a result of that madness. The most recent version of this tale is director Tim Burton’s take on the story and it has such a wonderful quote. The Mad Hatter asks Alice if he is mad and she cleverly replies with the following: “You're mad, bonkers, off your head! But I'll tell you a secret: All the best people are.” And it is true, the best people are insane.

To go in the opposite direction from Lewis Carroll’s mad tale, take Jesus for example. He came to the world normally as a baby born to a mother and father, Mary and Joseph. Joseph must have though Mary completely insane when she told him how Jesus was conceived, in fact, at the beginning he did not believe her and planned to “Divorce her quietly”. Similarly, throughout Jesus’ ministries here on the earth numerous people must have thought Him to be crazy. He performed many miracles such as healing the blind or crippled, and even raising the dead to life again! The chief priests thought Him insane when He told them that if they were to tear down the temple, He would raise it again in three days. However, the world thought Christ insane because they did not know Him; they did not understand Him. Continued into the present, this misunderstanding of Christ has caused people to think Him as well as Christians insane.

Therefore, in my opinion, insanity, within reason, is an attribute, not a fault. Though others may disagree, I believe that it takes immense courage to be insane or even just to take a stand on what you believe in resulting in being though insane by some.