That Girl

I don't know if it's just the fact that it's summer and I haven't had much to do this week, or if it's just getting ready for college, but lately I have been doing a lot of "reflecting" on my life so to speak, which leads to a lot of random blog posts from me. But anyway, here's something I've been thinking about today and pretty much all week I guess.
-taye

The Only Thing That's Good In Me Is JESUS

I am an encourager; that is one of my spiritual gifts. There is nothing like that joy I get from sending a Bible verse to a friend who needs it, or asking people how I can be praying for them. Ever since the end of my freshman year in high school, I decided that I was going to stop trying to fit in with the world and start living for Christ.

At our senior dinner at dance this year, the company girls all signed a picture frame for each of the seniors, as well as wrote a note to each of us, simply wishing us well as we move on to the college phase of our lives, and just what we have meant to them as dancers and as people in the years we have danced together. I nearly teared up when reading all of mine, and a couple of days ago, I went back and was reading some of the things people wrote to me. A couple of things that popped up included "Christians girl", "great role model" and "wonderful example". Now those are great things to be, and I feel honored that those girls said those things about me, but looking at myself from my point of view, I am not so sure that I would use those terms quite so passionately to describe myself.

I have had the privilege over this past year to be sort of a mentor to a 7th grade girl who dances at my studio, as well as goes to my church. At the end of the school year she wrote me a note. The note made me cry, because as well as me being an encouragement to her, she has been such an encouragement to me as well. But, there was one line in the note that said "every morning I wake up and ask myself how I can be more like you." More like ME?! I wanted to look her in the eyes and ask her if she was looking at the same girl that I was.

I am not a bad person compared to the world's standards. But being a Christian is not about not being a bad person. God calls us to be holy and perfect, just as He is holy and perfect. I am so F A R from perfect it is not even funny. To be quite honest, I struggle so much every single day just to keep at the front of my mind that I am supposed to be living for Christ and not giving in to my selfishness. As much as I hate to admit, most of the time I give in to my selfishness. I struggle every single day to fully know with all of my being that God is the only thing I need. Everything else comes second. Yet, I still struggle and fight with the thoughts that maybe if I had the perfect ballerina body or maybe if I was dating that guy I have liked for months now that just maybe then I could be happier. But I have to keep telling myself "no". One thing I really hate to admit is that so many times when I have asked friends every week how I can pray for them, I never get around to actually praying for them. Sometimes I have even lied and said I have been praying for them when I haven't.

All these things are just a few things I struggle and fight with every single day, and things I fail at every single day, and yet there are SO MANY MORE things just like them that I struggle with as well. It seems that no matter how many times I ask God's forgiveness and no matter how many times I tell Him that it will be different, I simply cannot be holy due to my sinful nature.

The thing that gives me hope though, is the knowledge that my God is making me new everyday, and that He does still forgive me after all my failures and mistakes. That He still loves me unconditionally, in spite of the fact that I cannot be perfect, though I will continue to try because He calls me to.

"You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

{Matthew 5:48}

Bittersweet Goodbyes

Well, I’m about to leave in just a bit to go to Troup High for my last dance recital in LaGrange. It’s bittersweet. On one hand I have so many crazy memories and I love the company girls and my students so much that I hate to leave them all behind; yet on the other hand, I am so anxious and eager to move onto the next chapter of my life and dance with new people and new teachers and have new experiences.


Needless to say that as I get my makeup on and spray my hair to death, I am getting pumped for my Senior dance recital . . . the playlist?

• Florence + the Machine

• Mumford and Sons

• Ellie Goulding

• The Cinematic Orchestra

• John Mayer

• Snow Patrol

• Coldplay

-taye

"If I could tell you that, I wouldn't have to dance."

~Isadora Duncan


"The Lord is my strength..."

So, I am now officially a senior...I can't believe it! All I can say is that I feel extremely inadequate to be applying to colleges and finishing high school; I feel so little, so small. My best friend cracked me up yesterday when she said "You know how senior year is supposed to be awesome? Well it's kind of a mourning time for me." haha, but really it's true, it's so scary! But anyway, here is what I've been learning from God recently.
-taye


"I will trust and not be afraid"

As I begin my senior year of high school, I have had to begin the long process of applying to colleges. This process has been somewhat intimidating for me as well as terrifying. The issue has been the fact that I know one-hundred percent that God is calling me to do something with dance, whatever that may be, therefore the logical thing to do would be to major in dance. The thing is that part of me wants to try and make it in a company right out of high school, but God is not calling me to that. I feel like He has a lot to teach me through going to college, so that is what I am going to do. I believe I have finally narrowed it down to applying to four schools: Belhaven University in Jackson, Mississippi, University of South Carolina in Columbia, South Carolina, University of North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and lastly Birmingham Southern College in Birmingham, Alabama. Before I really decided on these four schools, though, I had some serious trouble putting all of my trust in the Lord and simply relying on Him that He would guide me where I need to go.
Last night I was looking for a verse to send in my nightly text message I send to some friends and I stumbled upon Isaiah 12:2 which says

"Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation."

I just love when God gives you a verse that is exactly what you need to hear.

Happy Friday!