Monday, June 13, 2011

A dream is a wish your heart makes

My mind has been constantly swirling with these thoughts for the past week. I've got to get them out.
-taye

I dream things that never were, and say "why not?"

Have you ever had a dream? Perhaps you have always longed to travel the world, or maybe you want to become a doctor. Or could it be that there is that one school you always wanted to attend, or is it that person you have always wanted to be with. For me, it is dance.

I began ballet when I was three years old, following in my big sister's footsteps, I suppose. Over the years I have added and dropped different styles- tap, Irish, modern, contemporary, jazz, pointe... the list continues. However, ballet has always had something so magical and captivating about it that constantly draws me in, causing me to love it the most out of all the styles I have tried. I have always loved ballet.

In eighth grade, I made the Senior Company at my dance studio, which came with a more demanding schedule, and a higher level of commitment. I suppose it was then that I decided that I wanted to continue to pursue dance after high school. I continued to grow closer to the Lord during high school, and I began praying about my future. . .was dance what He was calling me to do?

Turns out, it was. He has blessed me with the ability and desire to dance, and I yearn to praise His name, not my own, with that gift. But there are a number of options to consider when one chooses to pursue dance as a career choice. Was I going to audition for companies or trainee programs straight out of high school, or should I major in dance in college? After months of discussing with my parents and praying for direction and guidance, I chose to major in dance at Belhaven University where I will head off to this August.

This past week, we had a guest teacher come to our studio and teach ballet and partnering classes everyday for three hours. He was a difficult, but enjoyable and knowledgeable teacher, and I got so much out of every minute of every class. I am not sure whether it was the fact that I had been off of dance for about three weeks before that, or whether it was just having a different teaching style to learn from, but whatever it was, I fell in love with ballet.

I fell completely, head-over-heels in love with ballet. It was not that I never loved it for the past fifteen years I have been taking it, putting countless hours and classes and rehearsals and performing, spending a large amount of my parents' money on tuition and summer intensives and pointe shoes; I loved it then, but I guess I was only in a mere infatuation with it for the past fifteen years. It was only this past week that I fell in love with it, realizing the extent of the desire of my dream.

Have you ever questioned whether or not you made the right decision? Every single day this week, I have been tossing the idea around in my head of whether or not I should be going to college in August. I have been struggling and crying and praying and questioning, debating myself in my own confused thoughts. But it is not a question of what I want. It is a question of what GOD wants for my life; what HE has had planned out for me since before I was even born. What does HE want me to do? According to HIM, have I made the right decision?

I am still in a bit of a confused, questioning, debating state of mind, but I have comfort and confidence in the fact that, for at least this coming school year, I am supposed to be a dance major at Belhaven University. In the fall of 2012, it is completely up to Him how my dream will grow.


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