Monday Music

I love music...so I've decided that every Monday, I'm going to culture you all a little on some music that I love. Enjoy!

-taye

Mumford and Sons is one of my favorite bands

I just discovered this guy today... amazing.

This came on at the Oscars last night, I ran into the room and started freaking out. I think my mom was worried about me for a minute there. I love Tangled.

Love So Incredible

Today is starting out so great! It's only 10am and I've already gotten a lot of school done...which is rare for me, haha. I have a lunch date with one of my best friends today, I can't wait for that, our fellowship is always so encouraging, and just what I need. Here are some thoughts that were on my mind last night, I thought I would share. Have a beautiful Tuesday!
-taye


Amazing Love, How Can It Be?

Around 11:30 last night, I was sitting on my bed having my quiet time when I started thinking about God's love. I cannot understand it. Why does God love me? How can God love me? I put Him through so much ridiculousness (is that even a word?) and at times just drag Him along in my life without ever giving Him the glory of which He is so worthy. Yet, He does love me. Me, the girl who is constantly running in the opposite direction of His love; me, the girl who is persistently looking elsewhere for satisfaction; me, the girl who cannot open herself up to anyone, not even the God who created me. But He loves me. He loves everyone. The people who get on my nerves and constantly try my patience, He loves them; the people who have used me and hurt me, He loves them; the people who have murdered, and lied, and cheated, and stolen, He loves them. The concept of the divinity of His love is so difficult to wrap my tiny mind around, but that does not lessen His love. Perhaps one of the most incredible verses in the Word about God's love is one with which every Christian is so familiar: John 3:16.
You know how it goes, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." The problem is that because this verse is so familiar, we take it for granted. Sure, we can recite it word-for-word, forward and backward, but do we ever take into account what it truly means? What it means for salvation, and what it means for us as the objects of the God of the Universe's affections?
God loved us to the extent that when we failed and sin entered our nature, He did not simply give up hope on us, or say "Oh well, I guess the whole human thing isn't going to work out anymore." No. Instead of just letting us go down a road of destruction after we broke His heart, He devised a plan to save us from the torment and death that we were heading toward. But not only did He save us from death, He went the extra mile to give us the opposite of death; He gave us life, eternal life. But not only eternal life, eternal life in heaven—in His presence.

How great is our God!

Selfishness

Today has been such a beautiful day. Sipping my skinny cinnimon dolce latte during sunday school, sipping my choffee during church, chinese with my parents for lunch, and studying all afternoon. I also realized tonight that I'm really competetive...I help out with the Middle School Ministry at my church on Sunday nights and tonight we played Minute to Win It...my team won, but it also required chugging a can of coke as fast as possible, which is a really bad idea- don't ever try it. I don't even drink coke, plus I don't feel so great now. Haha. But anyway here's a short post for today to make up for the longest one I've ever written from the other day.
-taye


Selfishness

Re-reading my blog posts and some other items I have written, I have come to realize the extent of my selfishness—not only my selfishness in life, but also my selfishness in my relationship with God. I try to make everything about me, praying things like, "Thank you God for everything you have done for me", "Thank you God for everything you have given me", or "God, please do this for me." Me, me, me.

It is not about me at all! Over this weekend, the Holy Spirit has really been convicting me about that, and yet I continue to fail in become more selfless. Yesterday I was saying something, and my brother, making a sarcastic remark, mentioned something about how it is not all about the "princess"—a rude nickname he has taken to calling me lately. He meant it as a joke, a mere comment, however it really sunk in deeply and set me thinking.

I deserve that nickname; I deserve that remark. I am so selfish, without even realizing it most of the time. But God does not call us to worry about ourselves and our own personal needs and wants, He calls us to simply take up our cross and follow Him. He calls us to become like Him in attitude, and I am pretty positive that Christ was not by any means selfish. He was the exact opposite, and that is what I should start striving for. I should not worry about myself, for God will take care of that, even more than He takes care of the needs of the sparrows. I simply need to trust Him and start striving to be more like Him.

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves."
Romans 15:1

"...{Love} is not self-seeking..."
1 Corinthians 13:5

"...do nothing out of selfish ambition..."
Philippians 2:3

"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
James 3:16

One Pure and Holy Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Faithful Jesus

Such a fun morning! Instead of my usual Saturday morning ballet class, today I had contemporary. There’s just something so much more fun about wearing messy hair and a giant sweatshirt rather than tights and hair in a bun in the early morning. Overall, I think it’s going to be a great day! It’s so beautiful outside too…70 degrees again! Anyway, this is just some stuff that’s been floating around in my head all week, but I’m just now having the time to really sit down and get my thoughts together enough to write a post. Have a beautiful Saturday!
-taye

P.S. After re-reading through this post after writing it, I realized that it unintentionally ended up being way more personal and a lot lengthier than what I started out with in my head. So sorry about that!


Faithfulness None Can Deny


This week was a difficult one for me—starting out with those days that everything seems to be going wrong, and ending with me being sick. Basically, overall it was not a very fun week. However, God has been so faithful to me throughout my stubbornness, and sickness, and He has remained faithful in His promises to restore His children.

“He restores my soul…”
Psalm 23:3 (ESV)

Trusting God is really hard for me, as it is for most people, I amm sure. The hard part is giving up all of your fears and desires and worries and giving them completely and fully over to Christ. But what I have been realizing lately is that God is so deserving of our trust. He has made so many promises to us and yet, He keeps every single one of them. He is so faithful to His children, although we are constantly unfaithful to Him.

“He…is called Faithful and True…”
Revelation 19:11 (NASB)

“…He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 (NASB)

“[They] shall entrust theirs souls to a faithful Creator…”
1 Peter 4:19 (NASB)

The best way that I can try to show some extent of God’s faithfulness is through examples from my own life. Over this school year, God has shown His faithfulness so clearly to me; even when I have not noticed it at the time, looking back I can see it all so well.

I am a senior and so this past fall, I was really struggling in my decision to pick a college to go to; the pressure kept building up. I was seriously looking at three colleges, all with good dance programs, which is what I will be majoring in. In November, I went to Jackson, Mississippi to audition for Belhaven University’s dance program and also to visit the school. I had spent many summers in the their dorms over the years for Ballet Magnificat’s summer dance intensive, but I had never really considered attending to University before. The audition went well; I was accepted into the dance program and received an offer for a dance scholarship. For the next month following my trip to Jackson my parents and I continued to pray about where I should go to school. I was registered to audition for two other public universities' dance programs in early 2011, but around New Year’s I decided that Belhaven is where God wants me for the next four years of my life. God’s faithfulness radiated in the fact that He revealed His plans to me in due time—not a minute too soon, nor too late.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord…”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

God has also shown His faithfulness to me in blessing me with three incredible best friends. The four of us have grown up together and, throughout high school especially, they have been the best encouragers in my faith, and the best accountability I could have ever wanted. Every Wednesday night, we meet at Starbucks after dance or church and just talk—sometimes for hours. I feel really bad for the Starbucks employees. Fellowship with Christian brothers and sisters is so vitally important in our walk with God. Fellowship helps to encourage us to seek God when we have grown weary; it helps to rebuke us when we have chosen the wrong direction; and overall, it helps us to have joy in what God has blessed us with and in what is to come.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

Also over the past year, I have had a tough time with guys—three guys to be exact. I have had only one boyfriend in my lifetime (I am thankful for that low number). Relationships, especially high school relationships, I feel like are such a waste of time and effort for most people. Granted, there are exceptions to this—you know, the couples who started dating in 10th grade and end up happily married twenty years later. But let’s be realistic: that does not happen very often. Since my sophomore year, I have always told myself that I would not date again in high school—it is a setup for heartbreak— but what I have come to realize is that you do not have to be dating to get your heart broken, and also that guys are not the only ones who can break your heart, God can too. The difference is that God breaks your heart so that He can heal it, while guys break your heart simply out of carelessness or in ignorance, and they have no intention of healing it for you.
I may be young but I have felt love before, at least, a part of what love is. Part of love is being able to love someone when they have done nothing to deserve it, and to be able to love someone even after they have hurt you. That is what I felt with guy number one (we’re not going to mention names, for the sake of everyone who reads this). He and I became friends a few years ago, he lived a couple hours away, but through facebook and phone conversations we continued getting to know one another after we had left the place where we met. For an entire year we did this, slowly becoming closer friends, but eventually I began to like him more than a friend, and apparently he did too. About a year and a half ago, we were on the phone one night and the subject came up; we both admitted liking each other as more than just friends and felt relieved to hear that it was reciprocated; we then talked every day for about two weeks. One day, we were talking and he nonchalantly mentioned that he didn’t feel that way for me anymore, as if the way he had felt two weeks before had just abruptly disappeared. I acted fine with it, but really I was deeply hurt, deeper than I realized. The hurt began to grow, and I allowed it to, in fact, I watered it and pulled the weeds. For almost another year and a half the hurt continued to build up, but so did the love. I continued to fall for him even though we only talked once every few months or so, and he completely ignored me on some occasions. He had led me on, but I tried to love him when he rejected me, and the hurt that he planted had grown so big that it began consuming my heart. I had allowed this situation in my life to take over my heart, slowly taking it back from God and giving pieces of it in desperate pursuit of this guy who did not even acknowledge my feelings for him.
Finally, around September or October it hit me that guy number one was not good for me. I have the mindset that every guy I find myself liking I should ask myself if he could be a potential husband, and if not, ditch him. Dating and courtship are preparation for marriage and if you cannot see yourself spending the rest of your life with them, why waste your time? So I realized this guy would be a horrible husband for me someday and also that he probably was not ever going to like me back again. So I gave him up; I stopped thinking about him, I stopped trying to talk to him, and I stopped feeding the hurt. The crazy thing is that after that, there was such a heavy weight that had been lifted from my heart, and I realized that the weight had been so heavy that only God could have lifted it, and He did. This is where guy number two comes in. I mentioned in a previous post about how there was this guy at church that I found myself noticing. I do not think that I can say that I ever really liked him, we still have never really had a legitimate conversation, but even so, I found myself thinking about him. Now, before you start thinking that I am a creep for thinking about this guy I had never even talked to, I will tell you that guy number two was just something to fill what my heart was searching for. God was there, I knew He was because He had so recently healed me and put me back on my feet again, but instead of being content with that, my heart still searched for love and for something that my affection could fall upon other than Christ. That is pretty much it for the story of guy number two; his presence is not all that significant in the purpose of this drawn-out story.
Before guy number three entered the picture, there was such a huge change in my heart. God showed me everywhere I had gone wrong. I had been searching for love everywhere but in Him. I had been using God rather than living for Him. I simply allowed Him to heal me when I needed it, but then ran on my way again in search of fulfillment elsewhere. But the thing is that God is not content with that. He is a jealous God and He wants all of us, not just particles and leftovers of our heart. He knows exactly what is best for us, and what is best for us is Him. God stopped me in my tracks and showed me a glimpse of just how incredible His love for me is, and yet that glimpse was more than I could ever imagine or hope for. I was finally content to rest wholly in the love of Christ when guy number three came along. This guy was different; I had never had such encouraging conversations with any other guy before. Our conversations were filled with dissections of scripture and reflections of what God was showing us. It looked to me what God intended relationships to be about—completely based on Him. But then it just ended. He and I had talked consistently for about three weeks, and then I stopped hearing from him. I think that God allowed it to end in order to teach the guy some things as well as myself—things that He could not teach us if we were friends.

I suppose that turned into more of a testimony rather than a simple example, but it all leads up to how God is faithful. I have seen God’s faithfulness in many ways through these three guys, which is one reason, I think, that God allowed them to have a part in my life. I have come to know that God is faithful even when I am not. As seen in stories of the first two guys, I was not looking for contentment or satisfaction in Christ, but rather I was searching for it everywhere but in Him.

“Why are you looking for love, why are you still searching as if I’M not enough?”
“By Your Side”, Tenth Avenue North

I have also seen God’s faithfulness in the fact that He promises He will never leave us and forsake us, and that He keeps that promise. He brought my heart back into focus on Him, even after I had left Him in the background to search for love somewhere else.

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you…”
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

And lastly, that He is faithful in doing what is His will for our lives. He knows what He’s doing better than what we think He’s doing, and in the end, everything works for the good even if we do not understand it. His plan is always greater than anything we could plan for ourselves.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good…”
Romans 8:28 (ESV)

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go…”
Psalm 32:8 (NASB)

I apologize once again for how long that was, but I hope that you have found some encouragement in reading this and some hope because of the Lord's constant faithfulness to us, and that He always keeps His promises to His people.

“My God, You are here with us, constantly here with us, You are our everythingfaithful and true.”
“Constant”, Charlie Hall

“God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”
1 Corinthians 1:9 (ESV)

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful…”
2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)

“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.”
2 Thessalonians 3:3 (ESV)

Things I love

I've gotten to sleep almost all day today, it's been amazing, except the fact that I'm sick-ish. I decided to put the doctor off til tomorrow though, so I'll see how I feel in the morning. This is just a random post-a little about me, I suppose. I love the little things in life. You know what I'm talking about, the little joys. The small things that no one seems to notice, but that make you smile and happy inside. I love those things; to me, they make life more exciting. They're like mini-blessings that God gives us to show us little pieces of His love and to glimpses happiness.
-taye



I love...

...thinking back to the moment you met someone who is now a major part of your life

...bubbles

...the moment of butterflies right before I step onstage

...watching the clouds move

...when cashiers are really friendly

...when strangers hold the door open

...waking up to a text message

...pinky promises with little kids

...rainy days

...when people talk to me first, because it means they were thinking about me

...seeing flowers randomly growing on the side of the road

...driving through a yellow light

...texting until late at night

...the way that Starbucks smells

...drinking out of a straw

...learning significant life lessons from a tv show

...laughing so hard you can't speak

...when you say the same exact thing as someone else at the same exact time

...predictable romantic comedies

...driving with the sunroof down in the summertime

...eating the marshmallows off the top of hot chocolate

...having more fun than the kids I'm babysitting

...standing perfectly still on an escalator, none of that walking crap

...revolving doors

...looking at the clock right as it turns midnight

...finding the big and little dippers in the night sky

...the moment you finally know every word to a song

...skipping the very last stair

...eating something you cooked yourself

...seeing old couples holding hands

...crazy headbands

...taking the first sip of coffee in the morning

...long hugs

...the perfect pair of pointe shoes

...when someone tells you how you make them feel

...handwritten letters, even if the handwriting is bad

...stickers, preferably ones with glitter

...seeing a facebook notification pop up

...fuzzy socks

...having a conversation with a friend that if anyone else was listening they would have no idea what you're talking about

...swinging on the playground

...hugs from little kids

...sitting in people's laps

...getting out of the car after a long trip

...when the ChickfilA workers say "My pleasure"

...the memory that comes to mind when you look at a picture

...drinking water when you're really thirsty

...finding applications to the gospel in random life situations

...watching a movie and being able to quote nearly every line

...late night discussions with best friends

...unique, weird animals

...candlelight bubble baths

...warm blankets

...watching classic disney movies when I'm sick

...balloons shaped like animals

...a giant glass of Milo's sweet tea in the summertime

...crunchy peanut butter

Peace and Frustration

This week has been extremely rough...and it's only Wednesday. I don't want to complain at all, that's not what this post is going to be about, but it's going to be about getting some things out of my heart and mind. I feel bad for those of you who actually read my posts, because most of the time, they're pretty personal, and I don't usually think about the fact that someone might actually read them.
-taye


May the God of peace be with you

I have been forgetting God so much this week. Praying for what I want, rather than what I need, and simply letting Him tag along for the ride of my life rather than placing Him at the front. Just for the record, trying to take hold of your own life and deal with situations on your own never works, so do not waste your time. The thing is that I know that, and yet I still try and take matters into my own hands rather than relying completely on Christ.
Sunday I was getting so overwhelmed with all the scholarship forms and essays I desperately needed to do. Monday was Valentine's Day, and well, that day always gets me in a frizzled mood, plus it was one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. Yesterday I was extremely unfocused during school, and as a result not much was accomplished, and at dance I became frustrated with myself for not picking up the counts and choreography as quickly as I usually do. Lastly, today I do not feel good; I have been feeling really dizzy since last night and have had a bad headache- I hope I'm not coming down with something.
All of that to say that I have been focusing completely on my circumstances and the temporary and not even realizing what I have been doing to God.

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."
Colossians 3:2 (ESV)

I have not been obeying this scripture at all. My mind has been nowhere near heaven, but rather very focused on the earth, and it should not be. The earth is only my temporary home; I will be here for merely a blink of an eye, 3/4 of a second-no longer. I am here only to bring glory to God and simply accomplish His purpose for me, and then my time here will be finished, over, and done. Why then, do I so often get my mind fixed on the idea that I will be here forever and that my surroundings and circumstances matter much at all?

"...what is seen in temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV)

"But out citizenship is in heaven...."
Philippians 3:20 (NIV)

But today I will have peace because God forgives me when I forget Him, and He will never forsake me or leave me, though I leave Him and drag Him behind the rest of my life. Also, He gives me peace which goes beyond all else.

"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8:6 (ESV)

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7 (ESV)

"For He Himself is our peace..."
Ephesians 2:14 (ESV)

Be My Valentine?

Okay…well this has been such an awesome Valentine’s Day so far…not. My Valentine is sick (yeah, so it’s my best friend but she’s still my Valentine), I didn’t really know some of the answers to my British Lit test this morning, and while babysitting, a little girl busted her chin and had to go the emergency room. You’re jealous, aren’t you? But anyway, this is my Valentine’s Day post. For the past week or so, a million ideas have all been buzzing around in my head for what to write about for Valentine’s Day, and the past two weeks, the messages at church have really hit me. Both messages have been out of Hosea, not your typical love book—it’s no 1 Corinthians 13 or 1 John 4, but it’s so powerful, and convicting that it is the perfect thing to write about. Enjoy…and Happy Valentine’s Day!
-taye


The Bride of Christ


So many times it is mentioned in God’s Word that we, His people, His children are His bride. It is also mentioned that He, God is the bridegroom.

“Let us celebrate, let us rejoice, let us give Him the glory! The marriage of the Lamb has come; His wife has made herself ready.”
Revelation 19:7 (The Message)

“And I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”
Hosea 2:19-20 (ESV)

“For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is His name…”
Isaiah 54:5 (KJV)

“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to Him.”
2 Corinthians 11:2 (NIV)

Like most girls, I adore weddings. The elegance of the bride as she steps into view and walks down the aisle in a beautiful, spotless, white dress; the joy on the groom’s face as he beholds his so-soon-to-be-wife; the flowers, the music, the feeling inside at the sound of the bride and groom exchanging the familiar vows. I long so badly to be married; there is just something about that kind of love that is so beautiful and desirable to me. However, the most incredible thing is that I am betrothed to be married to Christ. In fact, all of us are—Christians, I mean. Though, the sad part is that we all commit spiritual adultery—becoming harlots to the world.

Christ’s love for us is so incredible that it is unfathomable to the human mind.

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:9-10 (ESV)

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are...”
1 John 3:1 (NIV)

“The wildest part is that Jesus doesn’t have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn’t need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance.”
Francis Chan, Crazy Love


Since Christ’s love for us is so wonderful, why then, do we run from Him so often? It is like we leave Him standing at the alter over and over; His bride has abandoned and forsaken Him and left Him humiliated. But no matter what we do or where we run, God is continually loyal to us, His betrothed. That is unconditional love.
I watched the movie Fireproof the other night, and one of my favorite parts is where Caleb, the main guy, is talking to his father about everything he has done for his wife, and yet she still has rejected him.

“I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this… How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?”

Directly following this quote, Caleb realizes all that Christ has done for Him and becomes a Christian. That quote in the movie hits straight through my heart every time because it is so completely parallel to God’s love for us. God shows His love for us in everything, and yet we spit in His face. We do not deserve God’s love whatsoever, and yet despite our constant rejection of Him, He continues to show us love even though we never deserve it. It is easy to show love to someone when they love you back and when their attitude and how they receive your love is agreeable. But it takes the unconditional love of Christ to show love when someone hates you, despises you, rejects you, resists you and pushes you away. That is the love God has for us.

“The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time.”
Francis Chan, Crazy Love

“And the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.’ So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley.”
Hosea 3:1-2 (ESV)

God told Hosea to go and marry a prostitute. Hosea obeyed God—knowing that his wife would not be faithful to him; knowing his wife would not love him, but knowing all of this, Hosea still obeyed God and loved Gomer with the unconditional love of Christ—as Christ loves His children. The price that Hosea paid for Gomer was less than half of what a typical servant was usually worth. She was worth nothing. Yet God treasured her and loved her and showed His love to her through Hosea. If you read the entire book of Hosea, you may be putting yourself Hosea's position, thinking "Oh hey! I need to love like Christ loves: unconditionally!" which is true, however, we need to put ourselves in the position of Gomer. "Me, a prostitute-a harlot?!" Yes. We are harlots to the world, giving ourselves over to the desires of our flesh and constantly rejecting Christ and His undeserved love for us.

So I will leave you with this: whatever has your heart is what you will be running after…who has your heart?

Review

A fellow blogger and friend, Daniel, gave me the opportunity to use my love of writing to write a book review for his blog. I wrote my review on Crazy Love by Francis Chan...go check it out!
-taye



Have a blessed Sunday! Also, I have been thinking up some ideas for a killer Valentine's Day post for tomorrow...keep your eyes opened for it!

Post-Passion life update

It's been nearly a month since 2011 began, and also a month since I attended Passion...here's a little update on what the Lord has been teaching me since then.
-taye


He's roaring like a Lion


It has been one month since I came home from Passion…well, it will be one month exactly tomorrow. The past month has been such a whirlwind for me, for God has been showing me so much that it is hard to collect my thoughts and to attempt to put them into words. 2011 started a new age for me, not a dark age, but more of a golden age, or perhaps a pre-golden age.

I first prayed “the prayer” to accept Jesus into my life when I was six years-old. I have grown up in a Christian family, attending church regularly, and through that, after that day in 1999, I continue learning more about Jesus. It was not until the summer after my freshman year of high school, though, that I truly began to take God seriously. I was working at the same Christian camp where I had first accepted Jesus 9 years earlier, and it was then that I realized that I was not much of a Christian at all. Sure, I went to church almost every Sunday, I read my Bible most days, I prayed before meals, and tried to pray before going to sleep at night, but there was nothing that felt real and alive about my relationship with God, or lack there of. Coming home from camp after a month secluded away from the rest of the world was interesting; I began a period of making changes in my life. I broke up with my baseball/football player boyfriend—I don’t remember us having more than one conversation about God at all—I began paying attention in church, and taking notes to be able to retain what I heard there, I began striving to encourage others in their faith through prayer, etc…
That marked the true beginning of my life in Christ, a true relationship began to develop at that point, and I began to see more of who God really is. That is where I have been for the past three or so years.

Pre-Passion

Senior year began like most. Summer ended, school began, and I started to fall into a new routine; a routine which included church every Sunday and some Wednesdays when dance allowed, reading my Bible everyday, listening to Christian music every now and then, and continuing to try and encourage friends through praying for them weekly. But it had become just that: a routine. Things that I thought I needed to do, so I did them. The fire fueling my relationship with God was slowly and quietly flickering and fading without my notice.
Over the past two years or so I have been struggling with some issues. It sounds ridiculous but they were guy issues. I won’t go into details, cause you probably do not care, but let’s just say a guy had hurt me, and I had allowed the hurt to take over. It had taken over my thoughts, I thought about it every hour of every day. It had taken over my feelings and my mind, and instead of feeling things, I found it easier to become indifferent on almost every occasion when it came to emotion. Around October, maybe September, I was finally freed from all of that pain. God freed me, and I began to rest in His grace…for about a month, maybe less. I continued taking notes in church in an effort to retain what I was learning, but pretty soon I was looking forward to church for another reason. There was a guy there that I thought seemed interesting, a nice person to maybe get to know, but I let it take over, and by December, church was just the place that I got to see that guy, God was now only a small part of what church was for me.

Passion

So that is where I was with God right before Passion. I had Him, He was waiting there to give me all of Himself, if I would only see Him standing there. There was knowledge of His presence. I knew He was there and I knew what He offered, yet I was searching for the same things elsewhere, thinking that perhaps someone else could offer me a better deal. I have already written a short post about my Passion experience (you should probably read that before finishing this one, if you never read it), so I add only a bit about that and continue on to more recently.
At Passion, the Lord truly opened my eyes to all that He is and all that He offers me. He allowed me to meet people who have truly made an impact on my life and have encouraged me so much in their faith. Some of those people’s impaction time was short, God is continue to use others to show me more about Himself.

Most recently what God has been revealing to me is how weak I am compared to Him. In the past, I have been the immature Christian who looks around at the church service and thinks to myself, I’m so much better than them…look at all they’ve done wrong, and compared that, I’m doing pretty well. But once I’ve stopped looking around and looked only up to God, I realize how much wrong I myself have done and my weakness compared to His surpassing greatness.
He’s also been showing me just how necessary it is to trust Him. And not simply trust Him, but to trust him completely. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might” was no joke, and I am learning that it is not to be taken lightly.
Another thing is that His will always happens. Despite what I thought was going to happen, and despite what I wanted to happen, His will is what will happen. I am still working toward not only being content in His will, but also to be joyful in His will.

I wish that I had more time to go on and on about more things that I have been experiencing with God, but unfortunately I really have to go, or else I may be late for dance. I leave you with one command the Lord asks of us: rejoice in the Lord always.

Be like Me

This morning was amazing. I got to have a much needed girl day with one of my best friends. We went shopping, talked, got starbucks, and looked at wedding magazines, haha. But it was definitely what I needed. I've been getting really frustrated a lot lately over some things...my head is pretty full right now. Here are some thoughts on just one of the many items of randomness floating around in my brain.
-taye


"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..."


There are some people that I just want to punch in the face. If they were here…and if I could reach their face. But I suppose that would not be such a wonderful idea; the repercussions might not be favorable. Also, if I were to hold that idea up to the phrase “What would Jesus do?” I am pretty sure that it would not stand. I do not think that Jesus ever punched anyone. I mean, think about it: Judas, who had been a persistent disciple of Jesus’, betrayed Him in the end, yet, you will never find in the Bible the line, “Jesus, then, punched Judas in the face…”

Christ calls us to be like Him; to constantly ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Those bracelets that were so popular in the 90’s seem cliché, but really, it is what we should truly ask ourselves about everything we do in our lives. Should I really be watching this movie? What would Jesus do? Should my iPod really be filled with this music? What would Jesus do? Should I say this? Should I hang out with them? Should I go there? What would Jesus do? No, Jesus did not have movies, television, and iPods, but He had to daily make similar decisions, however, He always chose the right thing to do. If we frequently and persistently ask ourselves what Jesus would do, and choose what He would have chosen, then we too, are capable of always making the right choice.

“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…”
Philippians 2:5 NIV

God commands us that we should have the same attitude that Jesus had. Jesus was perfect, though. He had a perfect, respectful, positive, joyful attitude at all times. We are supposed to live like that? Yes we are. Jesus had an attitude fixed always upon the Father, and ours should be also.

“For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.”
1 Thessalonians 4:7 NIV

“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Matthew 5:48 NASB

God calls us to be perfect, like He is perfect. As each day presents itself, strive to become more like Christ in all that you say and do. Continually ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”