{Let Me Be A Woman}

There is so much I can say on this subject, I hardly even know where to begin. For the past year or so, on and off, I have been making my way through a book by the amazing Elisabeth Elliot called Let Me Be A Woman. In it, Elisabeth Elliot writes letters to her engaged daughter giving her bits of advice and encouragement about what it means to be a godly wife, and more importantly a godly woman, as she approaches marriage. The thought of being a woman makes me think about divine design. Clearly God created men and women differently, and in a different order. Man came first that he might lead and initiate; woman came second that she might help and submit. But what does being a woman really mean?

1. Tenderness.
There is something so tender, soft, and fragile about femininity that is a large part of what makes a woman such a beautiful creature. There is a quote by Zooey Deschanel:

Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually "shhhh-ed".

Too sensitive; too mushy; too wishy-washy. Blah, blah. Don't let someone steal

your tenderness. Don't allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly

vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be

truly affected by things. Whether it's a song, a stranger, a mountain, a raindrop, a tea

kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all-- look around you. All of this is for you.

Take it and have gratitude, feel it and give love. 

I believe the softness and tenderness can be wrapped up in a word I used a moment ago: femininity.

What does that mean, exactly? Femininity is being feminine; it is the essence of what a woman is: her spirit, her personality, her fire, her mystique, the beauty which only a woman can possess. This femininity, I believe, is what Peter is talking about in 1 Peter when he refers to a "gentle and quiet spirit..."

"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair and putting on

of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden 

person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which

in God's sight is very precious."

[1 Peter 3:3-4, ESV]

I used to have an issue with this passage before I really understood what it meant. I can sometimes have a loud personality and be very opinionated, but in moderation, those qualities are what make me me. But what I really see that it means is to simply be a woman. Not the kind of woman that society says is feminine, but the kind of woman that is precious in God's sight. Speak when you need to speak, hold your tongue when necessary, be tender, be delighted in little things like tea kettles and flowers, for that is what you were created to do. There's a quote I've seen floating around pinterest lately, yet I have no idea who originally said it:

If more females would sit down and be ladies, then maybe more males would

stand up and be gentlemen.

Women today are viewed as a commodity (something that is used as much as possible, tossed out, and replaced). Yet, in Ephesians 5, God commands husbands to cherish their wives as their own bodies. The night before I left school to come home for the summer, I went to the movies on a Friday night, which I don't ever suggest because the theater is packed with middle-schoolers on "dates" their parents drop them off for. I saw so many girls- probably in their early teenage years, dressed like they thought they were twenty-one years old in a bar or something. Men treat women like they're something to be used and discarded, because women have bought into the lie that they are.

Lastly, some verses that have really encouraged me lately have been those that my boyfriend has sent me from Proverbs 31...we all know it, the "Proverbs 31 Woman" that we as godly women should be striving to duplicate in our personal lives:

 An excellent wife who can find?

    She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
¹⁴ She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She dresses herself^[e] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰ She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.^[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

[Proverbs 31:10-31, ESV]

I really want to emphasize verse 12. "All the days of her life" means before she knew him, while they are dating, when they're engaged, and when they get married. No matter which stage of that you're currently in, make sure that you're living like a lady of God, and that you are doing your husband good, and not harm, whether you know who he is or not. Go forth in your femininity and act with a gentle and quiet spirit.



 

{Blessings}

Today is one of those days that has its own simple beauty to it. The sun is shining, I'm already on my second cup of coffee, and there is so much to simply be thankful for. Today has gotten me thinking of how blessed I truly am. It also has made me think of the blessings I am most thankful for, so I thought I'd make a list:

{Sunshine}
I think about the day that God created the sun. What a beautiful, magnificent burst of light and joy it must have been to have the very first sunshine ever created. I think of the mornings when the sunrise was all I needed to see to be happy, the mornings that the sunrise added to my pre-existing joy. I also think of the sunsets that have painted the sky as a reminder of God's beauty.

{Coffee}
Whoever discovered the coffee bean, I love you. I'm so thankful that God decided to create a bean full of so much potential and deliciousness.

{Family}
I don't know what I would do without my family. I love them so much. I know that they are always there for me if I do ever decide to talk about anything (which is rare, I'm more of a listener). I know they will always support me in the good times and encourage me in the difficult ones. My dad has worked so hard for years to provide financially for my family, and I know that he loves me more than anything, and that I can always ask him for help no matter the situation. My mom loves me more than I will ever know, although, I seem to forget that so often. She provides so much for that I don't even realize. My sister is always up for a good time. She makes me laugh and she's always good for a sleepover, or a back massage (which means me giving her a back massage). My brother has taught me so much, not always in the most convenient way, but I have learned a lot of what to do and what not to do through him. But mostly I know that despite everything, he loves me, and he really cares for me a lot. I'm so thankful for the crazy memories they've given, especially at holidays, but more than anything I'll love them forever.

 {Friends}
I'm so thankful for my best friends. I'm thankful for the old and new memories with my three best friends from birth, but also for my two closest girl friends at school. For the ridiculous sleepovers, late night deep discussions about boys, and coffee dates complete with strange coffee shop music. I know that I can trust these girls with my whole heart if I need to, and they are always good for a laugh, of course. But most of all they've been an encouragement to me in my struggles, and supports for me in my joys. "A friend loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17)

Haley, Grace, and Ashlee, whom I've known since I was born, basically.

Julianna and Sarah, my two closest girl friends at school.

{My Best-est Friend}
Perhaps what I'm most thankful for at the moment is the boy who has been such a huge blessing since I met him 10 months ago on that first day at college. God has used him in so many ways, it's really hard to think about all the things I've learned through my relationship with him. The main thing perhaps, is learning what it really means to love another person, to put yourself aside, and think about someone else's happiness before your own. To have someone you always need to be there for and to encourage, but also to always have that other person to be there for you and to encourage you. To have someone to spend your free time with and who will always be praying for you, even when you don't ask them to. But I've also learned just how hard it is to do all of those things. But I've been so blessed by the huge amount of joy it gives in the times when you both succeed at being there for the other.

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."

[John 1:16, NIV]

{Help My Unbelief!}

^"14 And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. ¹⁵ And immediately all the crowd, when they saw Him, were greatly amazed and ran up to Him and greeted Him. ¹⁶ And He asked them, 'What are you arguing about with them?' ¹⁷ And someone from the crowd answered Him, 'Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. ¹⁸ And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked Your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.' ¹⁹ And He answered them, 'O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.' ²⁰ And they brought the boy to Him. And when the spirit saw Him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. ²¹ And Jesus asked his father, 'How long has this been happening to him?' And he said, 'From childhood. ²² And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.' ²³ And Jesus said to him,   '‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.' ²⁴ Immediately the father of the child cried out^[d] and said, 'I believe; help my unbelief!' ²⁵ And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it,   'You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.' ²⁶ And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, 'He is dead.' ²⁷ But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. ²⁸ And when He had entered the house, His disciples asked Him privately, 'Why could we not cast it out?' ²⁹ And He said to them, 'This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.'”

^{[Mark 9:14-29, ESV]}

Have you ever been in that place where you desperately want to believe that what you know to be true is really true? It's like you know in your head that it's true, but you're having a hard time knowing it to be true in your heart and soul? That's where I have been so often lately. When I have a lot of time on my hands, I tend to think...a lot. In fact, this almost always leads to over-thinking everything in my life. Yet it's happening again. Being home for the whole month of June with not a whole lot to do, I think... all the time, about EVERYTHING. This time, I've been thinking a lot about the future. I am now considered a sophomore in college, and I've begun to dream about what life will be like fast forwarded three years from now. I will have graduated college with a BFA in dance. I will have the rest of my life in front of me with nothing to do but...life. Real life. I saw a quote once by someone unknown that explained my feelings about the future perfectly: "The idea of the future both fascinates and frightens me at the same time." This thought is so true, especially for me. I always love to think into the future and dream about, well, things I've wanted since I was a little girl: being a ballerina, getting married, little children all my own, puppies, cooking in my own little kitchen, my own apartment and eventually my own house with my own little family living happily ever after. (Don't think I've forgotten that life comes with struggles galore, but just go with me there for a minute). The dreaming part is all fine and dandy, it's when I start trying to figure out HOW all of that is going to come about in my real life is when I start freaking out a little. Somehow, in that moment when I start trying to figure everything out, my solid faith goes running off into the sunset without me. When I start trying to figure things out that aren't really mine to figure out to the tee is when I lose faith. I start stressing out over how I'm going to graduate in just four years when I think about all the classes I still have to take. When I think of how much money it really takes to get married, rent an apartment or buy a house, have kids, and still have money to buy coffee, I start losing faith that I'll ever have any money to do any of those things, or either I imagine being poor for the rest of my life. It's right about now that I start losing my mind again and wishing so desperately that Peter Pan was real and could just sweep me off away to Neverland to never have to worry about grownup things again. This lack of faith is just another fault of mine I've come to know well in the past year or so. Yet, there is hope! There is hope in the assurance that "If we are faithless, He remains faithful..." [2 Timothy 2:13, ESV] Praise the Lord that He does not abandon us as often as we abandon our faith in Him. He still provides, cares, loves, protects, and holds us even we when are in our moments of unbelief.