{The Mishap of Marriage}

Tonight I went with a friend to go see the new movie Hope Springs. It's about an older couple who has been married for thirty-one years and their marriage has slowly lost its spark. They go to a couples' therapist in Maine to try and regain the marriage they once had. Sounds like a good story, right? However, I am filled with disappointment and anger after wasting nearly $10 to see it (plus being the only people under the age of 65 in the movie theater was a little embarrassing as well, haha).

It made me so angry to see how some people simply put their marriage on the back burner and let the love that brought them together die away in a slow, painful death. It also angered me to realize what the world believes a good marriage to be.

The world always sees divorce as a backup option. Divorce should never be an option. 1 Corinthians 7:11 says, "...and the husband should not divorce his wife." Always seeing divorce as a means of escaping means that going into it, the couple isn't 100% fully committed from the very start. Now, I know that I'm not married, although I hope to be someday, so don't assume that I think I know it all by stating my opinions on these things, I know there are many things about marriage that I'll only learn once I'm immersed in my own. But, marriage is a HUGE commitment, and it should be viewed as such. The world today doesn't view marriage as the sacred covenant that it was created to be. God created marriage first between Adam and Eve when he first created them. He also gave them each special, specific roles to play within the relationship.

Let's talk about these roles for a moment. Going through the Scriptures, there are things God commands a husband to be for his wife, as well as a wife to be for her husband.

Husband:

• Understanding of his wife(1 Peter 3:7)
• Honoring to his wife (1 Peter 3:7)
• Loving, not harsh toward his wife(Colossians 3:19)
• Love his wife as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:33)
• Spiritual head of the wife and family (Ephesians 5:23)
• Held responsible to God, or God is the head of the husband (1 Corinthians 11:3)
• Praising of his wife (Proverbs 31:28)
• Trust his wife (Proverbs 31:11)

Wife:

• Respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33)
• Should not separate from her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10)
• Does her husband good, not harm (Proverbs 31:12)
• Strong (Proverbs 31:17)
• Speaks with wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
• Kind (Proverbs 31:26)
• Fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30)
• Gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4)
• Submissive to her husband (Ephesians 5:22)

The world seems to disregard every one of these things when entering into, and participating in a marriage. The wife is no longer submissive, but tries so often to be better than her husband and controlling of her family. The husband is no longer the spiritually head of the wife and family, but pours himself into making work his life and coming home to lazily sit around watching sports on TV, while steering clear of having anything to do with the lives of his children.

Another thing that I realized from this movie was that of the topic of sex. The world today makes it seem as though sex is the most important thing in a relationship, and the problem is they take that same outlook into marriage. First off, sex shouldn't even be a part of the relationship UNTIL you get married, in that case, THEN once you're married, you approach the subject of sex together. However, with the world bringing sex into the relationship so prematurely, it brings more problems into the marriage. Yes, sex is a major part of being married, but there's so much more to marriage than just sex. There's love. There's support. There's encouragement. There's the fact that no matter what you encounter in life, no matter what God brings you to, that you're not alone in anything, not anymore. You have someone there by your side every step of the way, someone to talk and pray through major decisions with, someone to enjoy the simple little moments with, someone to have beautiful children who are all your own with, someone to raise those children to be the godly children of God that they can be, and someone to go through the ups and downs of life with. That's what being married is all about, and yes, of course there is sex. But more importantly, marriage is an earthly picture of the selfless love that Christ has for us. It's also about learning how to love another person like that, which is not easy, but consists of constant work. But it's work that's worth it, no matter what you have to deal with. This is what the world is missing out on because they're too busy trying to please themselves, trying to satisfy an insatiable desire to make yourself happy with whatever the heart desires. But that will never satisfy, and its why so many marriages end in divorce.

The last thing that so many marriages lack today is Christ. Now, you may think that by me saying that means that I believe the only marriages that work are the ones between two Christians. Well, forgive me if I step on any toes here, but yes. I believe that the only marriage that works as it was intended to is that between two Christians. That doesn't mean that every marriage that has a non-believer in it is destined to fail and end in divorce, but that does mean that those marriages aren't working as marriage was created to work. The marriage that works is that where the couple prays together, goes to church together, worships together, talks about God and spiritual matters together. The couple that raises their children in the ways of Christ. The couple that is going to strive to love one another as Christ loves each of them, and is also going to forgive each other frequently, knowing that they and their spouse are both sinners, saved only by the grace of God. The couple whose marriage is going to work as it was intended is the couple who realizes that nothing good is in them on their own, but that their only ability to love one another comes solely from Christ and what He did for each of them on the cross.

{The Body}

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
[Hebrews 10:24-25]

I love my friends. A lot of times I think to myself secretly, that I have THE best friends in the whole wide world. Today, I got to spend time with two of my closest friends that I've known basically since I was born. Sitting at Starbucks for three and a half hours hearing about their summers and the ways the God has been working in them really filled me up where I had been lacking all summer.

This made me realize again just how important it is to have fellowship within the body of Christ. There is something so comforting in hearing about each others' struggles, talking about the things of life, discussing topics you may be confused about, or simply praying for one another.

1. Talking about your struggles. We have deal with our own struggles at our own time. Whether it be struggling with a particular sin or just chaos going on in your life, talking about it with fellow believers gives us comfort in knowing they're there for us. They may not be going through the same things you are, but perhaps they have before, or they might in the future. It helps you know you're not dealing with things alone...ever.

2. Talking about the things of life. Simply taking part in active friendship. Friendship is one of the most beautiful relationships that God created for us as human beings. The ability to know things about other people and accepting them as they come, it gives us opportunities to love others like Christ has loved us.

3. Discussing topics you may be confused or concerned about. The gospel is simple, but the spiritual details located in the Bible are hard. They can sometimes be difficult to understand or comprehend on a full level of being able to apply them to your life. Having discussions or talking about what you're reading or things that are found in God's Word is a good way to find answers. To see how others take it, but don't forget to still compare that to what God says to beware of "false prophets."

4. This, I feel like, is one of the most important things about fellowship within the Body. Praying for one another- WITH one another. I can't tell you how encouraging it is when someone prays with me. One things I love about the people at my school is that if you're having a bad day and it's clear you're having a bad day, there's usually someone who will pray with you simply because they love you with the love of Christ. Bringing God into your friendship, it increases the strength and also the vulnerability within that relationship. It's how a friendship was meant to be.

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
[Galatians 6:2]

"There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."
[1 Corinthians 12:25-27]

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." 
[James 5:16]

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
[1 Thessalonians 5:11]

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
[Hebrews 3:13]

 

{Yes's and No's}

"As Christians, we are not here for our own purpose at all-- we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God's compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him." {Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest}

This is my first post of the summer, and yet, summer is almost at an end. Two weeks from today I'll be back in Mississippi getting ready to start my SOPHOMORE year of college. My, how time flies. But that's not what I'm here to talk about tonight. Tonight I want to talk about the number one thing I have learned this summer.

The number one thing I have taken away spiritually from this summer is the importance of God's will. No, importance isn't quite the word I'm looking for, perhaps the sovereignty or inevitability of God's will. Ultimately, His will is going to happen, whether we say yes or no, whatever we do, it happens. It's nearly impossible to wrap my tiny little mind around it if I think about it too long. This summer has faced me with decisions. Well really just one major decision. My answer would either change my life completely, or keep it remotely the same. The thing about being a Christian though, is that when faced with life-changing decisions, you must consider two things: what do I want? And what is God's will? Ultimately, the whole God's will thing is going to win out, sometimes it's in agreement with what you want and sometimes it's not. I chose to say no in my decision, keeping my life remotely the same. Though people, and even myself, may wonder why I would choose to say no to such an opportunity, the answer was quite clear for me when making it. I didn't say no out of fear of change, nor due to difficulties that would surely arise if I had said yes, nor out of intimidation by my life-long dream right in front of my face. My answer was clear because I knew what God's will was for me in this moment. It was like a soft, resounding "wait." That was all, but it was enough to be confident as I turned down my dream...for now. Sometimes saying yes to God's will means saying no to what you want. But it doesn't always mean saying never to your dreams. Sometimes it just means not right now--not yet. Saying yes to God's will means having faith enough to trust Him completely with your whole life, including your hopes, dreams and desires.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
{Psalm 37:4}

"Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him..."
{Psalm 37:7}

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance, in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."
{Psalm 139:16}

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."
{Proverbs 19:21}

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
{Jeremiah 29:11}

God's will is ALWAYS the plan that is going to be best for you, it may not always be the easiest, but it is always backed up with the Lord's faithfulness and security.