{The Mishap of Marriage}

Tonight I went with a friend to go see the new movie Hope Springs. It's about an older couple who has been married for thirty-one years and their marriage has slowly lost its spark. They go to a couples' therapist in Maine to try and regain the marriage they once had. Sounds like a good story, right? However, I am filled with disappointment and anger after wasting nearly $10 to see it (plus being the only people under the age of 65 in the movie theater was a little embarrassing as well, haha).

It made me so angry to see how some people simply put their marriage on the back burner and let the love that brought them together die away in a slow, painful death. It also angered me to realize what the world believes a good marriage to be.

The world always sees divorce as a backup option. Divorce should never be an option. 1 Corinthians 7:11 says, "...and the husband should not divorce his wife." Always seeing divorce as a means of escaping means that going into it, the couple isn't 100% fully committed from the very start. Now, I know that I'm not married, although I hope to be someday, so don't assume that I think I know it all by stating my opinions on these things, I know there are many things about marriage that I'll only learn once I'm immersed in my own. But, marriage is a HUGE commitment, and it should be viewed as such. The world today doesn't view marriage as the sacred covenant that it was created to be. God created marriage first between Adam and Eve when he first created them. He also gave them each special, specific roles to play within the relationship.

Let's talk about these roles for a moment. Going through the Scriptures, there are things God commands a husband to be for his wife, as well as a wife to be for her husband.

Husband:

• Understanding of his wife(1 Peter 3:7)
• Honoring to his wife (1 Peter 3:7)
• Loving, not harsh toward his wife(Colossians 3:19)
• Love his wife as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:33)
• Spiritual head of the wife and family (Ephesians 5:23)
• Held responsible to God, or God is the head of the husband (1 Corinthians 11:3)
• Praising of his wife (Proverbs 31:28)
• Trust his wife (Proverbs 31:11)

Wife:

• Respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33)
• Should not separate from her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10)
• Does her husband good, not harm (Proverbs 31:12)
• Strong (Proverbs 31:17)
• Speaks with wisdom (Proverbs 31:26)
• Kind (Proverbs 31:26)
• Fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30)
• Gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4)
• Submissive to her husband (Ephesians 5:22)

The world seems to disregard every one of these things when entering into, and participating in a marriage. The wife is no longer submissive, but tries so often to be better than her husband and controlling of her family. The husband is no longer the spiritually head of the wife and family, but pours himself into making work his life and coming home to lazily sit around watching sports on TV, while steering clear of having anything to do with the lives of his children.

Another thing that I realized from this movie was that of the topic of sex. The world today makes it seem as though sex is the most important thing in a relationship, and the problem is they take that same outlook into marriage. First off, sex shouldn't even be a part of the relationship UNTIL you get married, in that case, THEN once you're married, you approach the subject of sex together. However, with the world bringing sex into the relationship so prematurely, it brings more problems into the marriage. Yes, sex is a major part of being married, but there's so much more to marriage than just sex. There's love. There's support. There's encouragement. There's the fact that no matter what you encounter in life, no matter what God brings you to, that you're not alone in anything, not anymore. You have someone there by your side every step of the way, someone to talk and pray through major decisions with, someone to enjoy the simple little moments with, someone to have beautiful children who are all your own with, someone to raise those children to be the godly children of God that they can be, and someone to go through the ups and downs of life with. That's what being married is all about, and yes, of course there is sex. But more importantly, marriage is an earthly picture of the selfless love that Christ has for us. It's also about learning how to love another person like that, which is not easy, but consists of constant work. But it's work that's worth it, no matter what you have to deal with. This is what the world is missing out on because they're too busy trying to please themselves, trying to satisfy an insatiable desire to make yourself happy with whatever the heart desires. But that will never satisfy, and its why so many marriages end in divorce.

The last thing that so many marriages lack today is Christ. Now, you may think that by me saying that means that I believe the only marriages that work are the ones between two Christians. Well, forgive me if I step on any toes here, but yes. I believe that the only marriage that works as it was intended to is that between two Christians. That doesn't mean that every marriage that has a non-believer in it is destined to fail and end in divorce, but that does mean that those marriages aren't working as marriage was created to work. The marriage that works is that where the couple prays together, goes to church together, worships together, talks about God and spiritual matters together. The couple that raises their children in the ways of Christ. The couple that is going to strive to love one another as Christ loves each of them, and is also going to forgive each other frequently, knowing that they and their spouse are both sinners, saved only by the grace of God. The couple whose marriage is going to work as it was intended is the couple who realizes that nothing good is in them on their own, but that their only ability to love one another comes solely from Christ and what He did for each of them on the cross.