1. Tenderness.
There is something so tender, soft, and fragile about femininity that is a large part of what makes a woman such a beautiful creature. There is a quote by Zooey Deschanel:
Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually "shhhh-ed".
Too sensitive; too mushy; too wishy-washy. Blah, blah. Don't let someone steal
your tenderness. Don't allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly
vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be
truly affected by things. Whether it's a song, a stranger, a mountain, a raindrop, a tea
kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all-- look around you. All of this is for you.
Take it and have gratitude, feel it and give love.
I believe the softness and tenderness can be wrapped up in a word I used a moment ago: femininity.
What does that mean, exactly? Femininity is being feminine; it is the essence of what a woman is: her spirit, her personality, her fire, her mystique, the beauty which only a woman can possess. This femininity, I believe, is what Peter is talking about in 1 Peter when he refers to a "gentle and quiet spirit..."
"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair and putting on
of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden
person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which
in God's sight is very precious."
[1 Peter 3:3-4, ESV]
I used to have an issue with this passage before I really understood what it meant. I can sometimes have a loud personality and be very opinionated, but in moderation, those qualities are what make me me. But what I really see that it means is to simply be a woman. Not the kind of woman that society says is feminine, but the kind of woman that is precious in God's sight. Speak when you need to speak, hold your tongue when necessary, be tender, be delighted in little things like tea kettles and flowers, for that is what you were created to do. There's a quote I've seen floating around pinterest lately, yet I have no idea who originally said it:
If more females would sit down and be ladies, then maybe more males would
stand up and be gentlemen.
Women today are viewed as a commodity (something that is used as much as possible, tossed out, and replaced). Yet, in Ephesians 5, God commands husbands to cherish their wives as their own bodies. The night before I left school to come home for the summer, I went to the movies on a Friday night, which I don't ever suggest because the theater is packed with middle-schoolers on "dates" their parents drop them off for. I saw so many girls- probably in their early teenage years, dressed like they thought they were twenty-one years old in a bar or something. Men treat women like they're something to be used and discarded, because women have bought into the lie that they are.
Lastly, some verses that have really encouraged me lately have been those that my boyfriend has sent me from Proverbs 31...we all know it, the "Proverbs 31 Woman" that we as godly women should be striving to duplicate in our personal lives:
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[e] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[e] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
[Proverbs 31:10-31, ESV]
I really want to emphasize verse 12. "All the days of her life" means before she knew him, while they are dating, when they're engaged, and when they get married. No matter which stage of that you're currently in, make sure that you're living like a lady of God, and that you are doing your husband good, and not harm, whether you know who he is or not. Go forth in your femininity and act with a gentle and quiet spirit.
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